


A Regrettable Reduction of the Unknown

by Opulopful



Category: Paranatural (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 05:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19784287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opulopful/pseuds/Opulopful
Summary: Jim and his friends explore a haunted mansion on the outskirts of Mayview in search of ghosts.





	A Regrettable Reduction of the Unknown

The twisted, looming hulk of the mansion stood silhouetted by lightning against the near pitch black sky. A cacophony of creaking boards emanated from structure as it stood against the wind. The rain beating against the structure gave forth a thousand different ringing, hollow tones as it struck the various windows, gutters, and many other things, hidden out of sight around the myriad of corners, eaves, spires and balconies that adorned every surface of the building. The only right angles to be found would be those you turned to walk away.

“Well, I think it looks charming.” Said Percy.

Percival Queshun was the kind of guy who always looks on the bright side of things, as long as doing so will annoy those around him. He was the the kind of guy who you might say was call extremely brave, if being brave meant doing the most outrageously foolish thing he could find. You might, at first, consider him to have a very unfortunate name. That is, until you learned that his sister’s name was Electra. His father, Elo, had an interesting sense of humor. To Jim’s eternal chagrin, Percy was his best friend.

“Could use a new coat of paint. Maybe a replacement gargoyle or two.”

Helena’s wit was, ironically, dryer than ever in the downpour. Her favorite pastime was pointing out the least helpful information that could be considered relevant to any given situation. She enjoyed watching enthusiasm drain from the eyes of her victims. She had somehow caught wind of this exploratory excursion and decided she was the right person for the job but Jim didn’t remember telling anybody except Percy about it.

Jim sighed. He was thinking about the life choices that had led him to this point.

“Should we try the front door?” he was hoping it would be locked so he would have an excuse to go home.

“Nah, boring. Let’s try a window.” Helena’s grin gleamed beneath her hood.

“We could see if there’s a back door… Oh! Or a _cellar_!” Percy let out an evil chuckle.

“Why are all my friends evil?” asked Jim to nobody in particular. He tried the front door. It was open.

The heavy oak door swung inward with a protracted creak. Once inside, the sound of rain disappeared to be replaced by an eerie, muffled silence. The musty smell of age and disuse hung thick in the air. A nearly tangible darkness covered the place. A darkness that seemed to have forgotten the concept of light. Percy shut the door behind them cutting off the last source of sound and light. A moment of total silence and stillness passed. None of them dared to move.

“Spoopy.” said Percy.

Jim switched on his flashlight, illuminating the gloomy foyer. The beam sliced through the air, illuminating the motes of dust that hung there. A large staircase covered in a faded red carpet climbed to the second floor. It split from a landing in the middle and led up to the left and right. Dark doorways led deeper into the mansion on either side of the room, the corners of their lintels ornamented with cobwebs. Archways of gossamer. 

“I can’t believe you wanted to come here.” said Helena softly.

“Yeah, it’s kinda terrifying.” said Jim, trying to shine his flashlight down a hallway. He couldn’t see the end from here.

“No, I mean, I thought you were just, really uncool.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“Shall we check upstairs?” Asked Percy, stepping boldly toward the stairs. Jim winced as his voice rang through the house. 

Helena squinted at a nearby painting covered in a fine layer of dust. She gently brushed some of the dust away to reveal a bowl of rotten oranges and a moldy wheel of cheese. Who would paint spoiled food? “What exactly are we looking for?”

Percy turned around, halfway up the stairs. “Signs of life, I guess. Or, rather, unlife.”

“Ghosts aren’t real, idiot. The only life you’ll find here grows between your toes.”

Jim kept his thoughts to himself. After recent events, he wasn’t sure what to believe anymore.

A pale tentacle uncurled itself through the wall. Jim blinked. He looked at the blank wall that was obviously devoid of any decoration, tentacle or otherwise. He shook his head. He was becoming his own unreliable narrator at this point. Percy dashed up the stairs and posed heroically on the landing, holding his flashlight aloft.

“Ghosts are real and I will prove it this very night!” Exclaimed Percy.

“I will see your folly exposed for what it truly is!” Helena held her flashlight under her face for dramatic effect.

“Well, then, follow me into room number one… if you dare.” Percy climbed the remaining stairs to the right and disappeared. 

“Shouldn’t room number one be on the ground floor, not upstairs?” Jim asked, stalling. “Like, you could call that room 101 or something but-”

“No, Jim, this house was built a long time ago, before Americans forgot that ‘Ground’ wasn’t a number so it would still use the British numbering system.” Helena sprinted off before Jim could reply. 

“Um, that doesn’t seem entirely-“

“C’mon Jim!” Helena’s voice came from the ~~first~~ second floor.

“Oh. Alright then.” Jim said. He hesitated a moment longer, glanced suspiciously at a painting of a man standing next to a large, brass telescope, and then followed his friends upstairs. 

“Ghosts and ghouls come on out! I’ll bash your incorporeal skulls in!” Percy proclaimed, waving his flashlight around threateningly.

“I can’t see how anyone could resist an offer like that.” Said Helena. 

“I’m challenging their authority in their own domain.” Explained Percy as though this was clear, sensible logic. “No self respecting ghost can resist. It would hurt their ghost cred.”

“Hmm… Ghost cred. I hadn’t considered that.” Helena studied a group of objects above the marble mantle of the room’s fireplace. One appeared to be a stuffed tuatara.

Jim cautiously pulled aside a curtain in an attempt to let in more light. He was rewarded with a shower of dust. He coughed and sputtered but the additional light revealed something that caught his attention.

“Should have brought ventilator masks.” Helena sneezed. 

“What are you complaining about?” Sneered Percy. “An elephant would love a bath of this quality.”

“Explains you then.”

“Are you… trying to call me fat?” asked Percy who, it was said, could just about anchor a kite when his clothes were soaked.

Helena hesitated as though she hadn't thought this far ahead in the insult. “Your nose is weird.”

“I see.”

“Hey guys, look at this.” Said Jim. The others ambled over. Jim was staring at a bowl of fruit.

“Feeling hungry?” asked Percy.

“Look closer.” Said Jim. Percy leaned forward than snorted and stepped away. 

“It smells terrible.”

“It looks like the fruit from the painting downstairs.” Said Helena.

“It _is_ the fruit from the painting downstairs.” Said Jim.

“I guess they must have really liked that fruit in particular to get a painting of it on their wall.” Said Percy.

“Painting fruit you have and then keeping it around is weird, right?” Asked Jim. Helena nodded but Percy shrugged. “But don’t you think it’s even weirder that they would paint it after it’s rotten?" 

“Sure, but weird doesn’t mean haunted.” Said Percy, kicking the small table dismissively. A moldy plum rolled off the table and fell to the floor with a squelch. 

Jim began to pace the room “My point is that painting must have been painted recently, and if the painting is recent-“

Helena finished his sentence. “It’s probably not very valuable”.

“What, no! Somebody has been here recently.”

Just then the organ started playing. The sound filled the mansion like water escapes a dam breach. It flowed through the halls and pierced the dense walls.

“The tower! It’s coming from the tower!” Shouted Percy excitedly. He dashed off in the direction of the hall. The others, for lack of a better option, followed. The organ was playing a frantic, discordant melody that seemed to have been written by a dozen ink-covered spiders on a galvanized seismograph.

The group dashed down the stairwell into the front hall, Percy well in the lead. As they passed, Jim shone his flashlight up at the fruit painting. The plum was gone. He screeched to a halt, shocked. “Helena?”

“What?” She called over her shoulder. 

“The plum is gone.” he said.

“What?” she shouted, stopping. 

“The plum is gone!” he shouted back. 

“Don’t be ridiculous!” She shouted. “Nobody likes plums. C’mon, Percy is going to get himself lost.” She ran through the dark doorway and disappeared. Jim shone his flashlight at the painting of the telescope. The man was missing as well.

“Ummm… guys?” he said, shakily. His voice was lost in the blasts from the organ. His only option was to follow his friends. 

He caught up with them outside a thick wooden door at the back of the mansion, presumably the tower. Percy was pressed against the wall as though he were about to breach and clear the organ room. Helena had lifted her hand to knock. Percy looked horrified by this. 

“Jim, tell her to stop!” Percy whispered urgently.

“I just want to be polite.” Helena said. They were barely audible above the music. Jim wasn’t sure a knock would be heard anyway.

“We go in together, on three- _together Helena! Get your hand away from that handle!_ Ok 1… 2…”

“On three or on go?”

“On three I said! Ready? 1… 2… “

The music abruptly stopped. The group froze, Percy with his foot suspended in the air to kick down the door. Jim peeking over Helena’s shoulder. They heard footsteps approaching them. A shuffling sound echoing across the cold stone like… sandals? The door swung open to reveal a short, blond boy with large glasses.

“Hi guys.” said Ed cheerfully. “Are you exploring this place too? It’s pretty cool, right?”

“Ed?” Jim stepped forward incredulously. “What are you doing here?”

“You know this kid?” asked Percy.

“It’s my little cousin, Ed.” Said Jim.

“Hey, cuz.” Said Ed.

“What’s your cousin doing here?” Asked Percy.

“I don’t know ask him yourself.”

“Did you know this place has an organ?” Ed gestured at the room behind him.

“We had our suspicions.” said Helena.

“We’re here lookin’ for ghosts. Seen any?” asked Percy.

“What’s a ghost?” asked Ed, innocently.

Helena walked over to the organ and pressed one of the keys which released an earsplitting F# that made them all jump.

“Well, I’ve gotta get home. I’m supposed to be at training by now. You guys should check out the observatory upstairs, it’s great. Anyway, see ya.” Ed dodged past Jim and melted out of sight in the dense shadows. Percy and Jim stared after him in silence. Helena tried a B. 

“Did he say observatory?” asked Jim. He looked up the spiral staircase that circled the room into the darkness above.

“If that’s not haunted, nothing here is.” exclaimed Percy. 

Helena suddenly launched into a surprisingly skillful rendition of Bach’s “Giant” Fugue in D minor.

Up the stairs they went, spiraling upwards into oblivion. Percy, never at a loss for enthusiasm taking two or three steps at a time, Jim struggling to keep up. The notes of the organ twisted upwards alongside their ascent. Their flashlights cut swathes of light, all too narrow, through the oppressive gloom. The tower grew more narrow as they climbed and was nearly hollow. Had there been sufficient light, and if none of the haphazardly positioned support beams not blocked the view, they could have seen all the way to the bottom. They reached finally reached the top. A doorway set in stone. They paused to catch their breath.

“Why do you always sprint headfirst at every hint of danger?” Jim gasped.

“You scared of a little ghost, Jim?” Percy asked leaning against the cold wall.

“It’s the sprinting I object to, not the danger.” Jim sat heavily on the stone steps. Up here, the sounds of Bach echoed around the tower as though not one, but two or perhaps three organists played below.

“Life’s too short to waste futzing around enjoying yourself. That’s what I say.” He threw the door open letting the blackness within spill out onto the stairs. “Onward and upward, Jim!”

“Just onward would be ok with me.” muttered Jim, but he climbed to his feet and followed Percy inside. By the light of their flashlights they could make out a few tables covered in astronomical instruments and dusty papers. There were astrolabes, gyroscopes and a hundred other unidentifiable implements that Jim guessed would probably be useless even if they weren’t broken down from disuse. 

“Look, it’s a horoscope!” exclaimed Percy triumphantly, holding up a complicated device on which the only identifiable feature was what appeared to be a two lens microscope. “I think this is how they come up with the stuff for Cancer.”

“I agree.” said Jim. He shown his flashlight toward the other side of the room. He was looking for something. It didn’t take long to spot it. Standing in the center of a large area cleared of clutter under a hatch in the domed ceiling was the large brass telescope from the painting. “I suspected we would find this here.”

“What is it?” asked Percy. He tossed the device over his shoulder nonchalantly and it shattered loudly behind a table. He walked over to the telescope. “Nice telescope.” 

“There was a painting of this telescope downstairs with a guy in front of it.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty weird how they just have a bunch of paintings of stuff in their house.” said Percy as he tried, and failed, to find the eye piece.

“The guy disappeared, Percy.” Jim said.

“You probably just saw a different painting.”

“There was only one painting of the telescope.”

“Maybe it was some kind of trick painting.” Said Percy, still engaged in searching for a way to look through the telescope.

“A trick painting.”

“Yeah, you know CG has come a long way.”

“What are you guys talking about?” asked Helena.

“I was just telling Jim how CG has come a long way since the early days.” said Percy.

“That’s true, you should see the stuff they can do with light maps now.” She said.

“Helena?” asked Jim.

“Yeah?” said Helena.

“Who is playing the organ?” He asked. The organ had not stopped playing at any point of their exploration of the tower.

“What?” 

“Who is playing the organ, Helena?” Jim said tersely.

“Oh, just the guy who came from up here. He must have passed you coming down. Asked if he could take a turn.” Helena didn’t seem concerned.

“Helena,” Jim said, his voice completely without emotion “we didn’t pass anybody on the way up.”

“Hunh. Must have been a ghost I guess.” Said Helena, apparently untroubled by this concept.

“Let’s check it out!” Percy didn’t seem troubled by it either. In fact, quite the opposite. Jim was convinced he was the only sane person alive in this mansion. Emphasis on alive. Percy dashed back down the stairs. 

“Running again.” complained Jim, following nevertheless.

“It’s good practice.” said Helena.

“Practice for what?” Jim asked.

“The apocalypse.”

“O-oh…”

Percy was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. He was shining his light on the keyboard of the organ. The keys were moving but no one sat on the bench. 

“Technology these days.” Percy said in awe. “An automatic organ. Incredible.”

Jim turned on Helena “Helena you said you saw someone.” 

“He must have stepped out.”

“The ORGAN is PLAYING ITSELF!” shouted Jim. 

“Whoa, Jim, don’t get hysterical on me.” she turned up her nose at him. “What do you want me to say? A ghost is a more probable explanation?”

“I wonder how much it would cost for me to get one of these things.” mused Percy.

“WHO DARES INTRUDE UPON MY RIGHTFUL DOMAIN!?” A voice boomed through the mansion “LEAVE NOW, FOOLISH MORTALS, IF INDEED YOU VALUE YOUR LIVES!”

“Whoa, they have a built-in speaker system here too? That’s awesome!” exclaimed Percy.

“Percy! There’s no speakers!”

“Must be hidden in the walls or something. Even better!”

The doorway to the tower burst open and a cloud of vapor burst in accompanied by various floating objects: lit candelabras, chairs, curtains, cutlery, etc. These rose and began floating in circles around the room.

Jim was panicking. “Guys, we should go now.” Percy was positively agog.

“The wirework this must take… wow!”

“Doesn’t seem like a very efficient use of furniture to me.” Helena remarked.

The sides of the room burst into flames which began to slowly move inward. 

“Pyrotechnics! Indoors!”

“Let’s go now please!”

“Alright, alright. No need to get all worried. Look, we don’t even need our flashlights now.” Percy was acting way too calm for Jim’s taste. With Jim’s incessant urging the three of them managed to make it past the fire, out the door and down the stairs into the entry hall, though they complained the whole way. Jim glanced at the telescope painting as they passed and saw the man from earlier was back. This time, however, he was waving. 

The front door was open slightly but as they rushed through it, it slammed pushing them down the front steps in a disorderly and quite painful tumble. They lay on the damp path, breathing heavily and staring at the sky. A much lighter rain than before drizzled down on them.

“Well, I think it’s safe to say we’ve proved something tonight.” Percy said.

“What’s that, Percy?” asked Jim.

“Ghosts are definitely fake.” answered Helena.

“Yep, it’s the living humans we need to worry about.” Percy added. He sounded quite pleased with himself.

“Wow, you guys are, just, so wise.” said Jim. It appeared Helena’s dryness was rubbing off on him. “I really should listen to you more.”


End file.
